"I did psychotherapy with psychedelics and that's how it went."
Vice, October 2023
Text: Becky Burgum
The words "ketamine" and "therapy" couldn't conjure up more disparate images. If one refers to having fun with friends, escaping reality and all sorts of crazy things in life, the other tells us about a not-so-fun situation with a stranger that forces us to confront all the demons we've been trying to avoid.
That said, of course talking about Psychedelic-Assisted Psychotherapy [in this case, Ketamine] doesn't imply going into a therapy appointment and taking drugs - it's much more scientific and specialized than that.
Studies dating back as far as the 1990s show that ketamine can help treat chronic depression, if only temporarily. If you've ever had the misfortune of undergoing an emergency operation in hospital because you've broken a bone or dislocated a joint, it's possible that you've already been anaesthetized with this drug. But while the psychedelic revolution is on the rise, there are still people who continue to associate ketamine simply with a tranquilizer or recreational drug.
I've spent the last nine years of my life taking and stopping antidepressants and going to therapy. Although I had reached a point where I understood my problems and their tangled roots, I still couldn't unlock the key to changing my behavior. I always thought it was impossible to silence the inner voice that criticized everything I did - the one that, as some people know, bullies us simply for breathing. I've never had anxiety like the kind that stops people leaving the house, or depression like the kind that affects your entire existence, but, to name just a few problems, I've suffered from social anxiety, panic attacks, low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in my abilities (a surprise to many people, it seems).
And then I met Awakn, the first Psychedelic-Assisted Psychotherapy clinic in the UK. It was born in Bristol in March 2021 to offer a new approach to treating addictions. Although it is not the only clinic to offer mental health treatments with ketamine, it is the only one in the UK to combine this drug with an intense psychotherapy program. And this program is not limited to replacing antidepressants with ketamine [or ketamine]. It involves a four-week therapeutic program that intersperses drug dosage sessions with psychotherapy integration sessions. It's not affordable for everyone, but the idea is that it will eventually reach the national health system.
"In illnesses like depression or addiction, people get stuck in circular thoughts - about being worthless, for example, or about needing to drink alcohol," says Professor David Nutt, one of the most respected voices in scientific research with psychedelics. "Often, these people know that these thoughts are wrong, but they can't get rid of them, and psychedelics can break these patterns in the brain."
[...]
But does it work as well as everyone claims? Because of my history of depression, I had access to the program.
One thing that was very important to me was feeling more present in my body and in my life throughout the process. I had never felt so clear-headed and, like most people, I had never spent four weeks so intensely dedicated to understanding and improving myself.
I've also seen significant changes: I can now discard the automatic thought, when I'm interacting with someone, that I'm embarrassing myself. I can truly respect myself more, value myself and accept my wishes. And then there are the more tangible changes: I've managed to stop wearing the exaggerated, fake nails I'd been wearing for decades; I've started meditating; I've found time again for my older hobbies, like dancing; I no longer smoke e-cigarettes. I feel more spiritual, in a relaxed way. I even like the idea of doing yoga.
If injecting a drug may seem like an extreme measure, just think of it this way: it's a very quick and efficient solution compared to other forms of therapy or medication. And also when compared to the side effects of many antidepressants - in fact, it manages to be much kinder to your mind.
